The Upside Of Being Down, Creativity of Depression

The Up Side Of Being Down-
Creativity of depression

It is hard to believe that anything good can come from something as destructive as depression. Unfortunately, for some, the silver underlining of this storm cloud is part of the battle. It is harder to fight something when you realize how deeply it effects you- the way you think, the way you see the world, the way you dream, the way you have learned and the way you articulate. Depression is not a disease that can just be cut out of your body. It is a mindset and chemical reaction that alters you. The treatments for it- alter you. Mostly for the good. Yet, for those like me who enjoy the images of our minds- we need to be willing to sacrifice a little of our dreams.

Depression can make your dreams vivid- full of color and sound. The negative affect it has on your sleep, ironically, makes it easier to remember your dreams. From those dreams comes a wealth of ideas. As well as a wealth of fantastical experiences. We often see artists and writers who suffer from depression and refuse to actively attack the illness. Medicines dull the mind and quiet dreams. Changing the way you view the world destroys the ones you are creating in your mind. Taking a dream influenced by depression and turning it into a a magnificent painting or a story that breaths, is an exhilarating experience.

Depression is a desease of the mind and thus has a psychological effect on your senses when you dream. You truely believe you dream in color and when telling about your dreams are often at a loss to express how briliant colors are. The detail of the images you see and the ability to feel a soft breeze caress your skin in a dream gain a great hold on you. Its better than the life you are struggling through.

Here in lies the problem. Depressed people dream much more than an average person because dreams are designed to work out and relieve our concerns, fears, and problems. They are meant to exhaust our emotions and put them aside so we can truely rest. They do this by releasing stress hormones (like adrenaline, cortisol, etc.). Excessive dreaming, never leaving that state of REM, plays havoc on your body. This system designed to keep your emotional health in balance is now destroying it.

Depression can be described as the autoimmune disorder of the emotions. It causes a high state of arousal- an overwhelming mix of emotion. This leads to, you guessed it, excessive dreaming. Excessive dreaming leads to physical exhaustion which effects the chemical balances in your body which in turn feeds your depression. This is one cycle of depression feeding itself. (There are many more, but I will deal with those later.) Ways to deal with this include medications, lifestyle changes, and thought process changes. So, why do so many of us have a hard time taking the path of healthy emotions.

Emotion is such a strong influential part of creation- trust me depression at the hieght of control is a very powerful emotional mix. The dreams it brings- even the nightmares- are facinating and worth telling about. For people who need to create, such a powerful mix is a tempting source. When the right side of your brain wants to play, it is not rational. That is the left sides job. Creation lies in the right side.

When I finally found someone who would listen to me and help me with my depression, I was relieved. I was in a desperate place. But after a time I began to miss the images. I began to miss the spontaneous stories. I began to crave a high state of emotional arousal that would push my body deeper into a state of need- a need for dreams. I fight that craving on a regular basis. It is an addiction. When I read about some of the greats (Van Gogh, Ernest Hemingway, Cole Porter, T.S. Eliot, etc.) and their battles with or losses to depression, I understand. Depression is a miserable thing. A waking nightmare. But it can be the dream of dreams.